The Ranch.

My Grandpa Phillips has been gone over a year now and I miss him.  I miss his laughter and his very loud sneezes.  I miss the way he would say the prayer at dinner.  I miss him loving American made automobiles and being proud when we bought our first Ford.  :)  I miss being around him and learning from him.

Over the 4th of July most of my family either drove or flew out to Orgeon to spend some time at 'The Ranch.'  That is what we alway called his home.  For over 80 years this beautiful piece of land has been in our family.  My grandfather moved there when he was only 4 years old.  He and my Grandma lived there and raised my mom and uncle until they were teenagers then moved to Alaska.  When my grandpa retired, he and my grandma moved back to the ranch. 

I remember the year we moved down from Alaska.  My mom, and two brothers and I spent the entire summer at the ranch with grandpa and grandma.  It was probably the best summer I can remember.  We had so much fun riding our bikes on the dirt roads and riding the four wheelers up through the trees on the old logging roads.  I remember my cousins coming down from Washington and all of us driving out to the coast. We spent so much time visiting with our great aunts and great uncles and my grandfather's best friends.  Can you imagine three young kids hanging out with seventy year olds by choice and loving it?!  Looking back, I have such fond memories of my time there at the ranch and feel so blessed that I have such wonderful things to remember. It was perfect.  I love the ranch. 

I guess for all those same reasons is why I get so emotional when I think that  my children won't have those same experiences there.  My mom and uncle have decided, after much heartache and sadness, to sell the ranch.  Oregon is obviously a very humid place and with no one occupying the home there, and all of us being so far away, it gets very run down.  There is so much vegitation that if the roads are not maintained they disappear altogether. 

It breaks my heart to think that the beautiful ranch will no longer be in our family but will belong to someone else, but truthfully, since Grandpa is gone, it just isn't quite the same anymore anyway.  It still is beautiful but it is missing it's spirit. 

So with the property now on the market, this may have been our last time there.  I loved the time we were able to spend there.  I loved walking the roads and seeing the animals, the wild flowers and the gorgeous trees.  Every bend of the road reminds me of something we did or something grandpa told us.  If I think about it too long, I start to cry.  It is such an important part of our lives and our family history and I can only hope that a new family moves in and loves making their own memories just as we have.   

Coming Home on September 11th

We brought Gracie home on Friday, September 11th. This day is so special to us for many reasons. First, this is my Grandfather's birthday. Grampa died a little over three months ago but he was the first one in our family to see Gracie's ultrasound pictures. We told my family about Gracie joining our family in his hospital room. He was so happy to have another great-grandchild and he was so happy for us. He expressed such love and concern for this unborn baby and her birthmom. We love and miss Grampa everyday and feel honored to share such an important day with him.

Second, September 11th is special because Gracie just so happens to be the 11th grandchild on both Jimi's side of the family as well as my side! May 11th is when we met Kristy for the first time. Four months ago we put all our faith in this woman we had only known for a few days and now she was putting all her faith into us to raise her baby and give her a good life.

There are very few dates in my life that I will always remember with such detail and September 11, 2001 happens to be just one of those dates. I, like most of you reading this, remember exactly where I was and how I felt that horrible day eight years ago. I was a junior in college and woke up late for class. I usually left my house by 7:15 every morning and there it was, close to 6:45 and I was still in bed. I never missed class and never ever was late, yet there I was, not really worrying much about the time. My parents were up and getting ready for work and had the Today Show on. I heard the screams on TV and I heard my parents' reactions. I got up and ran into their room. We sat there together and watched horrified! Then about 15 minutes later, I watched as the second plane flew into the second tower. I cried. My sister and I went to NYC just two months prior to this and on the 4th of July, we stood on top of that tower. We rode to the 46th floor in one elevator, switched elevators, then rode to the top. I remember the face of the girl who was operating that elevator. I wondered if she was there that day? I cried and watched the TV and cried.

Needless to say, I did not go to school that morning. I stayed home, glued to the TV and reported to my brother, who was on his way to Salt Lake for work, everything that was happening when he would call every few minutes. My heart was breaking for the people of New York and their families all around the world. My heart was breaking for those frightened families who had loved ones on planes and for those families who had loved ones on those planes. Jimi's parents were serving a mission in New York. I was frightened for them. I was frightened for what this meant for our country. I was frightened for what this meant for us and our children. At that moment I knew my life would never be the same. At that moment, I knew I would never be the same. I felt scared. What happened to our sense of security? How could there be such evil people in the world who would want to hurt so many others? How do people get that way?

So, September 11th, eight years later was another one of those dates I will never forget. I will always remember exactly where I was and exactly how I felt. My heart still broke, but not because of the evil of man but because of the exact opposite! Because of the pure love a mother had for her precious baby girl. A mother who was sacrificing her own feelings and desires to give her child something that she just couldn't right now. I watched and I cried as Kristy said goodbye to Gracie. My heart was breaking in two and bursting with love for both of them at the exact same time! At that moment, I knew I would never be the same, but this time, eight years later, I was not scared. I was full of hope, and love and gratitude and humility. I felt secure. I felt safe and I felt Heavenly Father's love for Kristy, for our beautiful daughter and for me. I knew this was His plan and I felt peace.

Gracie and her dad...she already

has him wrapped around her finger and it is so sweet!

Gracie cuddling with mom.

Gracie channeling Madonna...Vogue, Vogue, Vogue

Gracie enjoying her bed.

Catching Up...

I have been soooo terrible at updating my blog. I get on here with all intentions and purposes and find myself easily distracted with email, facebook and everyone else's blogs. We have had a very busy and exciting last few months and wanted to document what the Jars have been up to...for posterity sake if not for anything else. :)

JUNE (so far)

My sweet Grampa Phillips passed away June 5th at my parents home in Farr West. He was an amazing father and grandfather and we are all going to miss him dearly. We already do. I was blessed with the beautiful privelige of being with Grampa as he passed on to the next life. It was a peaceful moment and I felt his love so strongly. He willl always be remembered for his smile, his laughter, his humility and his generous heart. We love you Grampa. We are so happy that you and Gramma are together again, we miss you both. Until we meet again....

So this is on the long journey over to Oregon. Ryan rode with us during the 14 hour trek. Roxy really appreciated his generous spirit sharing his water with her. As did she enjoy cuddling and being his pillow.

Then it was my turn and I had Roxy and Tipper cuddling with me... They were very good puppies on the long road trip and had sooo much fun in Oregon running all over the ranch.

We actually headed to Oregon on Monday, but the funeral wasn't until Friday so we had a few days to get some work done at the ranch and then to also get a little R&R. Wednesday morning Jimi and I headed over to the coast and then up the PCH to Newport and then on to Portland. It would have been really great if I hadn't been feeling like crap. I wasn't really sure what was going on but I felt awful and woke up that morning with terrible pain in my back and lower pelvis. Apparently I was experiencing a kidney infection but wouldn't realize it for 2 more days!! Fun! Not so much. Jimi drove and enjoyed the scenery while I slept with a heating pad on my back and popping tylenol and IBprofin every 2 h0urs. I was so bumbed that I was messing up our "coastal day" but what do you do?

This is a Bed and Breakfast at Heceta Head in Oregon. It is beautiful and someday we are going to stay there! Some day when I have no UTI's or Kidney Infections or cramps or anything else!!! I really am not bitter, can you tell?!

More photos of Heceta Head curtousy of Jimi, since I was passed out in the car! Again, no anger at all. :)

The next day I was feeling a little better, kinda like the calm before the storm, and we went up to Multnomah Falls. It is beautiful and we had a great time there.

Jimi trying to take our photo, look at that concentration...

I love this boy!

He is soo cute!

Multnomah Falls, one of the most beauiful places on earth.

View from the Bridge