day 9

I have a confession. When I found out we were having another boy this past March, I was very disappointed. (I'm sorry Carter...I wouldn't trade you for anything now!) I really wanted a girl. The main reason was because I think we are going to be done after 3...that meant I needed to have two girls so they could each have a sister. And why did I feel so sad about this? Because I know how much I love my sister. The bond we share is so strong. We love our four brothers very much, but truly sisterhood is something that is very unique. My sister and my mom are my best friends. I feel very lucky to have such a close relationship with them both. We love hanging out together. I always look forward to being with them...and it doesn't matter what we do...it's always fun.

This is a picture taken in 1983. I am 7 and Sarah is 1. I am the third in line...with 2 brothers older and two younger. When Sarah was born, I was ecstatic. I could not wait to have a sister. I had a cradle for my dolls. Well Sarah became my real live doll. I remember putting her in there from time to time. Since there is a 6 year age difference, I quickly became a bratty teenager who wanted nothing to do with my kid sister. I would get mad that she was always in my business and telling on me for everything. I wanted to spend all my time with my friends and least of all my family. I went off to college and I remember how things seemed to change all of a sudden. I realized that I really was a brat and how much my family meant to me. I don't remember when exactly, but one day instead of thinking of her as a pest and my annoying little sister, she became my best friend whom I admired and loved so much. Now most of my memories are of all the great times we have had, the times when we have leaned on each other for support, laughed so hard, and cried and cried and cried when times were hard.

Before Jimi and Sarah got married, we were able to take a couple trips together. One was to Kentucky to see our friends, Adam and Lisa. We had so much fun. One day we rented a car and drove down to Nashville. We learned that the semi drivers there are rather...rude. They will fly by in the fast lane (isn't that illegal?) only to cut you off abruptly and then proceed to lose all their speed when going over the next hill. You can't get over in the fast lane because oh look here comes another semi riding my tail only to do what his friend before him just did. This happened over and over. We were leaving Nashville and heading back to Adam and Lisa's in Lexington. We were driving along and all of a sudden this same scenario played out again. Only this time the idiot almost caused an accident. I was ticked, but after voicing my frustrations colorfully, I was over it. Well Sarah wasn't. When I passed him, I looked over at her and she was giving him the bird. She is giving him the extended version all while making eye contact with him. (I hope her Bishop isn't reading this!) The truck driver was not happy. I started to scream about how he was going to call his other hill billy buddies and our little Corolla would be boxed in, forced off the road, and ultimately we would die in the backwoods of Kentucky. Well, we didn't die in the backwoods that night. We sped away from that crazy man and laughed and laughed all the way back to the Schwebach's.

I have missed hearing Sarah laugh. We all know how infectious it is. Well, today Jimi and I arrived around our usual time. She was very much alert and calm. She was responding so well and mouthing her words. She would also use her hands to try to explain what she was trying to say. She smiled when I talked to her about Gracie. She made funny facial expressions with her eyes. She joked about trying to take out her ET tube. Can I tell you how elated I was to see her back? I didn't know how I was going to deal with seeing her so agitated and scared like the day before. That was horrible to see her like that.

It wasn't a good day...it was a great day. The plan for the day was to wean her PEEP from 8 to 6 by the day's end. They changed her fentanyl to PRN (as needed). They wanted her to get up with PT twice. They started Lasix (a diuretic). She is very swollen from all the fluids she has been getting. We gave her a clipboard to write on, but her little fingers are just too swollen. Her creatinine was coming down. They didn't do a chest x-ray this morning, but will tomorrow.

PT came when I was there this morning. Sarah was amazing. She did everything the therapist asked. She was able to pretty much stand on her own with just a little help. She walked side to side by her bed with the walker and people there to help keep her steady. She showed so much strength after all she has been through. I was so proud of my little sister...and I loved to be there cheering her on.

Jimi stayed and I left. I walked out to the car walking on air. I think my smile was a mile wide. Finally after 8 days of being hospitalized, Sarah was back and totally the Sarah we love and adore. When I went back that night with my parents, I was so excited for them to see all the progress Sarah had made in a day. I couldn't wait for them to be able to communicate with her.

Sarah's feistiness is back and in full force. She would make her eyes really big to object to something. I asked if she wanted me to take a picture of her and she stuck out her tongue for the camera. She signed the letters of the alphabet that she wanted a Diet Coke. She wanted to watch Modern Family. It was so sweet to see my parents so relieved and happy to see Sarah so well on her way to recovery. My dad just stood there and cried...happy tears and tears of gratitude. When we left, we asked if she wanted to have a prayer. She nodded and pointed to my dad to say it. These past 9 days we have all said so many prayers pleading for Sarah to get better. Tonight, my dad offered the most wonderful prayer of humility and thanks that our prayers were answered.

She was down to 6 on her PEEP when we left. Her FiO2 was at 60%. She is on her way to coming off the vent...and we wish we knew when that would be. Getting her up and working with PT will help the most and Sarah is rising to the challenge. I cannot contain the pride I have in my little sister. You are inspiring Sarah and we will be here for you every step of the way.